Can I open my heart? There are days in my life when I look back at the things I've been through, gone through, escaped from, and survived and I wonder how the heck did I ever get here? This can't be real life? This cannot last. This life that looked nothing like the dirt filled streets of Jamaica as a young child with a mother fighting to make a life for us overseas. Alone with a father who loved us but had demons of his own.
How did I get here? When will it all fall apart? I'm always waiting for the bottom to fall because hey I've been to the bottom. A part of me still thinks that's where I belong. At the bottom of life looking up with dreams of escape. But look at me I've escaped for now....
These fears reign supreme sometimes and most days I use them as fuel. I'm not going back. I'm not going back. One step at a time. One foot forward. I'm not going back. But on the days I feel empty and cold with my bible as comfort I still feel like that scared six year old boy.
You know God is a good one because he helps me and keeps me when I don't and can't keep myself. I know everyone doesn't believe but for me that's for me. He keeps me. And I know one thing no matter how low I get. I always will return.
Thanks for listening to the ramblings of a photographer living with fears, dreams, hopes, and tears. I appreciate all the support and love of those around me and even the strangers who support me as well.